Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
