remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
