It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
