i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
