you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize