The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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