In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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