I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
