No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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