apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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