I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
