Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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