We're like a lot better than the average bears
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
