well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
