I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize