the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
