Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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