I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He better not be in your backpack
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
