Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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