WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
