hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
