Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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