But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
