Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
