in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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