I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
