Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
