they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize