the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
