I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
