you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
