I hate all girls vehemently.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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