How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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