You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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