She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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