Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.

Fav 16 3506 1067
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(631): View more from New York

the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.

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(315): View more from New York

The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months

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(860): View more from Connecticut

She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora

Fav 19 5034 2131
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.

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(407): View more from Florida

Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".

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