She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
