For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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