I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
vagina is talking i cant
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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