broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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