Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
