So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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