It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
vagina is talking i cant
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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