Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
