we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
