I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
