my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
