At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
