You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
