1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
