Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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