Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
