Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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