When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
