Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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