It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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