How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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