Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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