I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
try to milk me bitch
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