i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
