I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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