While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
