Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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