I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
