Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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