My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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