so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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