I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
