I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
