Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he fucked my hip out of place.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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