Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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