is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize