NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
