You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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